The beginning of the journey

Life is a beach. Or is it?

The last few years haven’t been easy.

I went through a painful and unamiable divorce – which isn’t finalised yet. For years I felt unloved, and isolated. After seven year of unhappy marriage, I found the strength inside myself to move away from that toxic relationship.

Fast forward nine months, and I found myself pregnant, in Ikea, shopping on a credit card for cheap furniture, driving an old banger that would abandon me for good the night my second child was going to be born. I was happier, yes, but overwhelmed at the same time.

When my boy was one-month old, I had to go through an excruciating court hearing that left me £30,000 poorer and even more isolated, because the judge decided that I couldn’t move back to the country I’m from, taking my first daughter with me to join my partner, who lives and works there. The walk from the court to home was the saddest moment of my life so far.

I was in a country that seemed to reject me every day a bit more, I was in debt with lawyers, banks and friends, I was on my own with a five-year old and a newborn, and I had only a handful of people as my support network. My family was far away, the love of my life was far away, and while you can question my poor judgement and life choices, the reality was that I had to take care of myself and my children now, whether I wanted or not. I was where I was, and I had to do something.

I truly didn’t know where to start. I felt tired beyond repair, sad, hopeless, and desperately worried for my and my children’s future. I was stressed and felt I wasn’t the best person I could be, and even less, the best mother I could be.

It’s been nearly three years from that moment, and my life has changed so much. I have changed so much. I worked a lot on myself, and I have learned a lot.

I’m in a better place now, inside and out. I lead a simpler life, and it truly is a better life.

This blog wants to be a recollection of the actions, small and big, that helped me regain control of my life and of myself.

The reason why I am doing it? I want to inspire other people to take action to change their life for the better, no matter how desperate they are right now. If I can share some of the things that helped me, and even one person finds value in them, then I’ll have accomplished my mission.

Thank you for stopping by, I hope you are that person.

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